Zack Snyder’s Pitch For Sucker Punch

*It helps if you imagine Zack Snyder sounding like Ted Logan from Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure as played by the amazing Keanu Reaves*

Zack Snyder: “Hey I got this idea for this epic movie, it’s like these hot badass chicks all scantily cladded up in school girl uniforms and they’re all like really good at fighting so they like kick major ass! And they use like guns AND Chinese swords! You know, like the kind samurai’s use? In China? And then there’s like huge epic dragons and fucking huge robots in it. And there will be radical explosions and shit, like totally dude! It’s gonna be EPIC!

Movie Execs: Mr. Snyder…

Zack Snyder: Oh and there’s this one scene where there’s this giant like samurai shogun kung fu guy but he doesn’t have a sword, well he does, but he also has like this huge gattling gun! Oh man! It’s gonna be totally like dude bro! Like…dude bro. Hey! That should be the name of the movie! DUDE…BRO!

Movie Execs: Mr. Snyder…

Zack Snyder: And then there’s these gangster guido guys in it and there’s also like WWI style planes in it and motorcycles and missles(all of which explode at some point) and all kinds of epic stuff! We’ll run spots on G4 and Spike TV 24 hours a day leading up to the release! It’s gonna be…

*Movie execs interrupting*

Movie Execs: Epic?

Zack Snyder: EEEPPPPPPIIIIIIIIC!!! I haven’t thought up the story yet but that shouldn’t take long, I can write it during the drive home. All it’s gonna cost is $800 million dollars.

Movie Execs: Mr. Snyder the movie will be called Sucker Punch, not Dude Bro.

Zack Snyder(sadly): Dude.

Movie Execs: Here’s your $800 million dollars.


*Movie execs interrupting*

Movie Execs: “Epic”, we know.



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