Archive for the ‘Xbox 360’ Category

Dark Souls Wants To Eat Your Children.

February 5, 2011

That’s right mother fucker! Demon’s Souls “sequel” is coming for that ass and it’s coming to use your spine as dental floss. The spiritual sequel is called Dark Souls and this time, From Software is bringing it to the PS3 as well as the 360. So now even more people can experience the video game that’s the closest thing to self mutilation I can think of. All of you so called “hardcore” gamers who play nothing but Call of Duty, GTA and Madden need to understand what the word “hardcore” truly means . Dark Souls wants nothing more than to harm you and everyone you hold dear. It wants to batter you physically and rape you mentally.

The 60+ hours I spent on Demon’s Souls was a lesson in Stockholm Syndrome. My constant deaths were all my fault. After all, the game was just being itself. The game did no wrong. It was just being the abusive step-child smacking, wife beater wearing game it is. When I died it was all my fault. Yes, all…my…fault. *nervously looks around*

NO DON’T HIT ME! I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY! PLEASE, NO! I’LL REMEMBER NEXT TIME I PROMISE!

*cowers into fetal position*

Dark Souls

Advertisements

Random Nerdery.

January 14, 2011

Sometime last week while I was bed ridden and sick to my stomach, I found myself on an extremely high level of nerdiness. I found myself playing Earthbound on my Macbook Air using a PS3 controller. If you’re keeping score, that’s a Nintendo game on an Apple laptop using a Sony controller. What’s even geekier is that I had the presence of mind to realize that at that very moment, I was the antithesis of Microsoft. The only thing that was left is if the foot massager I was using ran some obscure version of Linux.

Honestly don’t give a crap about that sort of thing. I don’t care if people use Macs or PC’s or play games on their 360 or PS3’s or Wii’s, I just don’t give two shits. But a snap shot picture of me in my room that day, all evidence pointed to me as a Microsoft hater which I am not. Seriously though, I don’t care what kind of operating system someones toaster oven uses and if I heard two people arguing about why brand x is better than brand y I know I would come close to stabbing both idiots in the throat to prevent their fanboy genes from spreading to infect future generations. I’m completely indifferent to Microsoft.

The only thing about them that I hate is Steve Ballmer. Man, what an asshole douche.

What’s the point of this post? I have no idea.

The Beauty That Is KOF XII

September 23, 2008

If the graphics for the new King of Fighters game is proportional to the actual gameplay, it will be the greatest fighting game ever created by humans. Look at that flipping screen! The background characters, the detail, the colors, the character designs, the lovely hand drawn goodness. Good god, it’s 2D graphical Valhalla encapsulated in one screen shot. I might as well give SNK Playmore my $60 now cause I will buy this game, next gen system or not.

Ooohh, high definition sprites…*droooool*

We’ve sure come a long way since Karate Champ.

Street Fighter II Turbo in HD

March 13, 2008

Wow, look at these screens. Street Fighter II in HD is so so pretty. Since this is online, there’s sure to be some lag but besides that, it looks as if the animation runs smooth as silk. I totally prefer this graphic style over the new SF IV style. This title is for the Xbox 360 Live service which sucks for me since I don’t plan on getting one. I’m crossing my fingers for this to make its way onto the Playstation Network.

Head over to Kotaku for more info and a bunch more screens
SF HD

SF HD

SF HD

SF HD4

Skate Game Intro

November 22, 2007

Best video game intro i’ve ever seen. I wonder which P-Rod colorways will be available and if Compton Ass Terry will be wearing Ice Creams. I want to play this game but I STILL haven’t made the jump to next gen consoles yet. Me being the retro gamer that I am, i’m just way too busy trying to beat Ghost n’ Goblins on my NES. Oh yeah, Happy Thanksgiving. Next time I update this site, i’ll be 5 lbs heavier due to massive calorie intake.

Capcom’s Big Announcement: Bionic Commando

October 16, 2007

So the huge announcement Capcom hyped up was…wait for it…..Bionic Commando! Oh wait, Bionic Commando? Wow, that’s…cool. Okay, Bionic Commando then.

BC

No Street Fighter IV huh? *Sigh* Woe is me, not just for me but every 2D fighting aficionado as well. Make no mistake, I loved Bionic Commando on the NES. Loved it. I mean that bad ass grappling hook was awesome. But I don’t know…I just don’t care. I don’t know if it’s because I was REALLY expecting SF IV or what, but i’m almost indifferent about this news. I’m curious about how this game turns out but i’m just not expecting to be blown away by it. I’m sure you’ll probably shoot things and your arm has a grappling hook and can probably do some other cool shit that has yet to be announced but I don’t see anything too interesting(well, interesting to me at least) coming from it. I’m speaking way too prematurely though considering the fact that Capcom just announced it and there really isn’t any substantial info on this game yet. It’s just…it’s just I was hoping for Street Fighter IV. Capcom why do you continue to tease me?

Oh well, the dream goes on…

Which Is Geekier?

September 29, 2007

Standing in line for an iPhone or standing in line for Halo 3?

iPhone

Halo 3

I got into a “discussion”(argument) with a friend of mine over which group of people are geekier. Sure Halo enthusiasts will argue that at least they are standing in line for a game you can play for hours on end and get that much entertainment out of it and that people that stand in line for an iPhone are standing in line for well…just a phone. But MY argument was that instead of talking to 10 year old boys through your headset in Xbox Live, at least with that phone, one can actually call up a real girl and go out on a date with that girl and potentially have sex with said girl. Which in my opinion is much more entertaining and satisfying than any video game.

After a few minutes of arguing, we realized that arguing over who’s geekier is pointless cause at the end of the day, the fact still remained that we were both still geeks. Then we both got sad.